I have adopted “covid” as my way of referring to this invisible enemy we are fighting. Words influence our thinking heavily and our thinking affects our moods and behaviors. Two words in that first sentence speak to the fatigue, the frustration, and all of what is overwhelming us after nearly two seasons of this battle.
Tammy Boyle, a colleague, put it this way prompting me to write this post:
“I don’t know any of us thinks we should be able to handle it all. For moms, I can’t imagine the toll it must be taking on you. The stress of the pandemic is equal to being in a war zone. You don’t feel safe, you don’t know what’s coming and still, you have to manage the needs and feelings of others while trying to survive, yourself. You’re going to be half as productive, twice as fragile emotionally, and more prone to illness and exhaustion – not just fatigued. Scale back your expectations. This is the worst time to try to be a perfectionist. Reduce the demands, take frequent days off and don’t fill those days with to do chores. Just rest. I’ve slowed way down and when I can’t keep up, I cut myself some slack.”
This was in response to a mom posting that she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t keep up with her professional reading and other things she normally did easily (even with toddler twin boys!)
If you are exhausted but are confused because you are not going out as much, or you don’t have the motivation to do the things you normally enjoy, you are not alone. We are all in this boat together. We must learn to be kinder to ourselves. We must protect ourselves as much as we can.
Turn off the news as much as possible. Stay out of the many debates if they are overwhelming to you. Check your “bandwidth”. Do you have enough of it to do more than what you’re doing? If not, then allow yourself to let some things go. Prioritize and give yourself slack on the things that don’t matter.
There’s a poem that meant a great deal to me when I was a new mom:
“Calm down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”
It allowed me to better enjoy my time with my boys when they were very little. And it stuck. Now we have bigger things to tell to calm down and go to sleep, and let’s face it, dust and cobwebs are never going to have a vaccine to eradicate them.
If you are having trouble letting these things go, if you need someone to listen just to you and provide you with encouragement, we want to help you get through this time. Call 940-300-2312 or click here to request an appointment today.
This stuff is just hard. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Here are some helpful resources I’ll link to and give credit to where I’m getting them from.
From “How to ADHD” YouTube Channel (we are all having problems with concentrating so I think these tips can help everyone). Manage working from home and schooling from home AND dealing with our new reality.
Here is a great workbook from Psychology Tools, always a great source, Living with Anxiety and Worry COVID-19
Manage Covid-19 Anxiety:
Turn off the news. Watch only once or twice a day; even better – just listen. Everything you really need to know is here. Watching constantly is signaling danger to your brain, causing cortisol levels to stay elevated (so that energy needed to flee the danger your brain is believing is there ready to chase you is readily available). Shelter In Place does not go well with raised cortisol levels so let’s work to lower them by turning off the news and doing something else.
Watch these videos. Covid-19 is a reality. One way we can fight it is by laughing about how it’s affecting us. This will help desensitize us to the fear. We must remain vigilant about the things we can control but we can do that without stressing out our brains and bodies with constant high levels of cortisol. It’s okay to feel happy right now, or afraid, or angry, or any of your feelings. You NEED to feel them. Allow yourself to feel them. We tend to fear that if we start to cry we won’t be able to stop. You will stop. Let it out.
- Be Silly
- Wash Your Hands
- Don’t Touch Me (Hey it’s Neil)
- Stay Home
- Don’t Take Your Toilet Paper For Granted
Talk to your friends and family, your doctor, your therapist about your fears.
Choose an app that helps. Here are a few:
- Worry Watch
- and do your own search in your app or play store!
Focus on What You Can Control – think about what particularly is within your control related to COVID-19. Let the rest go.
Take extra time to rest and just be. Instead of your commute maybe you sit in the sun by a window for a little while.
Use Social Media for FUN. Do not rely on it for news. And don’t forget to be social! Virtual interactions with others are definitely not the same as in person ones but they are still good for you. We are social beings, we need to interact with each other.
Check on your friends, send a text, give them a call or video chat. They need you as much as you need them.
Keep to a routine. Create one that fits your life now, don’t worry that your regular routine can’t be kept right now. If working from home, it really helps signal your brain when you get OFF work if you change into your comfy clothes when you end your work day (even if that’s from sweats to pajamas).
Find ways to move your body – dance, gentle stretching, follow along with a You Tube exercise video. Get into cooking as something fun or interesting. Build things, draw, color, make music. These things soothe us. Really get into it. Let your mind and body slow.
If you are having difficult reactions to the quarantine, the pandemic, to loss, or for anything that you can’t get to us for, we are here to help you. Right now. We are telehealth therapists. Give us a call or send us an email, we’ll send you a link.
Our Equine Assisted Psychotherapy team provides a setting where you will discover the solutions to problems for yourself so you become more independent, strong, and happy. We help you see the positive sides of problems such as ADHD, bipolar disorder, and other chronic diagnoses and to find solutions from within yourself to deal with these and other problems like anxiety, depression, or trauma. We are here for you in every life circumstance that you choose to share with us, whether large or small. We accept you as you are and support you in your journey to become who you want to become, or just to get you through a rough place while you are walking your journey. We focus on you and we provide support as you explore what is going on in your life.
Or in other words, life got really busy after that active surrendering! Time to take a breath.
I was back to working on the website tonight and got sucked into this vortex of rabbit holes that I think doesn’t happen to millennials. Computers were in their hands from as long as they can remember, so their brains are shaped differently than mine.
In my active surrendering I found a lot of help from my friends and my family. When I surrendered, and surrendered… there were people there to catch me. Sometimes I forget to use my support network, I forget to ask for help.
We can all use a hand for things that are not our strengths, or for those blind spots we all have. We are all human, and we can all use some rest and help from our support networks.
When we don’t realize that we’re doing too much or trying too hard, our bodies will tell us. We get tired, or we get sick, anxious, or stressed.
If you don’t have a support network, we can help you build one. Just ask!
Surrender comes in many forms; recently I was talking with some friends who opened my eyes to the idea that surrender is an active process. If we want to surrender our will to God, for instance, then we have to choose to do so on an ongoing basis. We humans tend to take back control because we are frightened or insecure or feeling our way is the only way. Though we know logically our way isn’t working, we just keep reverting to it out of habit unless we check our awareness of when we have gone back to the ways that are not working. Sometimes we revert because we don’t trust in others and decide we just have to do it ourselves if it’s ever going to get done “right”. Actively surrendering is being open to letting others show us other ways.
When things aren’t working out, we need another person to help us see what we can’t see ourselves. We need perspective.
If there is something that isn’t working out for you, we would like to be that other “person” for you. Our team of 6 horses, an Equine Specialist, and a Licensed Professional Counselor are here to be your “person”. We want to help and we strongly believe that we can. 940 300-2312
What a great thing we have in “support”! What things are you needing support for? Me, it’s this website!
I just chatted with a great chat support person with a sense of humor. I asked for his name so I could give him a great review, and I’ve decided I’m going to showcase him in this post too. I told him that I am a therapist, I’m 55, and I’d rather be on a horse than doing a website so when we accomplished my meta tag code thingie, I was a little giddy!
His reply: “Haha 🙂 The names Jeffry Ghazally and its been a pleasure chatting with you today. ”
So thanks again, Jeffry Ghazally! I am going to bed feeling accomplished instead of defeated.
Because after a couple of weeks of not asking for help, I did.
It’s okay to ask for help.
How can we help you?
And I thought …we all have our things that we don’t get or can’t do…yet. So I’m encouraged, and I hope that you are too, by Holtzy’s words.
Look around my website a little and you’ll find that “This doesn’t work” may come to mind a lot when you click or you see my Widget text box still explaining that it’s a widget text box. It doesn’t work…yet! But it will, and whatever is causing you to struggle right now is going to get better too.
Just not …yet.